CICI’S PIZZA | DINNER

Restaurant: Cici’s Pizza | Twitter: @MyCicis | 3411 SE 14th St, Des Moines, IA 50320 | 3/31/2016

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APRIL FOOLS, GRACE

When discussing making this “April Fools” post, Grace didn’t want to actually go to Cici’s. Grace wanted to use “stock photos” or pictures she found on Google. To prank her, I actually went to Cici’s and indulged on the buffet. TAKE THAT GRACE WHO’S THE LOSER NOW.

*Grace has no idea I went to Cici’s. Grace wasn’t at Cici’s for her “review” and I was. She’s gonna kill me*

Rating?

Josh: Death

Why Cici’s?

Josh: Why the hell did I go to Cici’s? I am questioning that myself as I type this. I wanted to be funny and go to a crappy place and eat crappy pizza. My insides are not enjoying themselves and I honestly feel dead inside. My soul has been damaged forever and there’s no coming back from that. What’s the point?

The Meal

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Josh: I invited my two good buddies Garrett and Nick. They thought it would be great to join me on this adventure. Boy, were they mistaken.

My first plate had two slices of stuffed crust pepperoni pizza, a couple pieces of garlic bread and a couple pieces of bread sticks.

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Plate #1

The first plate was one of the best. All of the nostalgia rushed through me like what happened to me when I got home. Me and my friends went to Cici’s every. Single. Friday. after basketball games in high school. Every. Friday. There was one in Urbandale at the time but it’s now closed. Shocking. This was my first Cici’s experience in a long time so that first plate was magnificent. The flavors all melted together in one delicious glob. The stuffed crust pizza was a highlight for sure. It’s a new-ish item and I’ve never had it before. It was one of their better pizzas.  The bread sticks are top notch. I would order these things in any other restaurant honestly. The garlic cheese bread was greasy yet good. The first plate was wonderful.

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Plate #2

I ventured off for my second plate. I had a slice of Honey BBQ, a slice of Spinach Alfredo, a slice of Cheeseburger pizza, a slice of Buffalo Chicken, and a couple things of bread sticks. The Honey BBQ had a taste of BBQ which was good. The Spinach Alfredo was something. The Cheeseburger pizza was overflown with ketchup and mustard. The Buffalo Chicken was the best out of the four. It was a little spicy and didn’t taste like garbage. The bread sticks were again top notch.

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Plate #3

By the third plate I was feeling it. I hadn’t been drinking but I was feeling some type of way. I only got a slice of Big Mac, a slice of Macaroni and Cheese, and a slice of Chicken-Bacon-Ranch. I started off with the Mac-and-Cheese and I literally tasted nothing. At this point, Cici’s have destroyed all of my taste buds and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover. The Big Mac pizza did not taste like a Big Mac fun fact. But it was there. The Chicken Bacon Ranch was probably good. It was hard to tell at that point. For what it’s worth, Nick said he liked it.

Why did I get a fourth plate? Because I hate myself. Nick pointed out that no one in the restaurant was smiling. Not one person. We realized that our happy selves were feeling the same way. We were defeated. We were destroyed.

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Plate #4

Nonetheless, I went up! I wanted bread sticks but they were out. Screw that. I got pasta instead and fresh bread sticks came out as I was ladling my sauce-like substance. My third plate was weak. It had some pasta, a slice of stuffed crust, and three bread sticks. I ate the pasta halfheartedly and only ate the crust of the pizza. I did eat all of the bread sticks. At this point, I was wondering if I needed to call into work tomorrow. Would I be able to walk?

Plate #4 fail
Plate #4 fail

5th plate…Dessert

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Plate #5

The final plate. Monkey bread, apple pizza stuff and a brownie. I don’t remember what I ate or what I tasted but I took a picture of my plate. I did not finish. I was dead inside.

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Dying inside

 

No food :(
No food 😦

 

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Obituary

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The selfie he took before leaving for Cici’s

Joshua Michael Meadows died in his home on March 31, 2016 in Ankeny IA due to Cici’s. He was 24.

Mr. Meadows was born on May 2, 1991 in Urbandale, IA to his parents, Mike and Tina Meadows. Josh got a degree in Elementary Education from the University of Northern Iowa and was on track to receive his Master’s in Education from Drake University. People described Josh as an “OK” person who was “kind of just there” most of the time. He is known to have been “somebody who loved Cici’s too much and it got the best of him”.

Josh left all of his possessions to Taylor Swift and not his fiancée, Grace Kammeyer. Josh was quoted to saying “I love Taylor Swift more than anything. Even Cici’s”. There will be no funeral as his body was destroyed by Cici’s and the asbestos inside. His final wishes were to be a lyric in a Taylor Swift song and for her to love him. His cremated ashes will be scattered across local Cici’s.

Atmosphere, Service, Price

 

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Josh: This place is on the East side so you see all walks of life. Though that’s the case…no one looked happy. No one smiled and no one looked like they enjoyed being there. As my meal went on however, I felt the same way.

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The prices were dope though! My meal was $7.57 and you know I’m putting that in a word problem for my students.

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They even had a little arcade room in the back. Ballin.

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Please, don’t go here. Save yourself and just say no. Thank you.

CAUTION: DON'T GO TO CICI'S
CAUTION: DON’T GO TO CICI’S

 

Happy April Fool’s Day!

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Bahns says:

    I went to the east side location and had BOTH my kidneys stolen in the bathroom by the one person in Cici’s who looked happy. Then, I was kidnapped. I still don’t have any kidneys, so I’m not really sure how I’m still alive (or where I am????!?!!), but I DEMAND A REFUND.

    Like

    1. Grace says:

      Hi Bahns, yeah I’m so sorry to hear about that, but what did you really expect going to Cici’s?!?!?! We can give you a refund but you have to pay a 25% restocking fee for the kidneys.

      Like

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