BRICKHOUSE CAFE | BREAKFAST

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Restaurant: Brickhouse Cafe | 5765 Merle Hay Road, Johnston, IA | 5/31/15

Hi! It’s Grace. We went to Brickhouse Cafe and Grip came with us! He’s guesting this post, so I’m being lazy 😉 Go to Brickhouse Cafe, eat pancakes, watch movies! It’s great!

I don’t know what this Pokemon theme is but here we go.

Rating?

Grace: 3.4 Stars

Josh: 4.666 Stars

Grip: 3.75 Pokeballs

 

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Why Brickhouse Cafe?

Josh: Grace and I just attended the #Vanderbeast wedding the night before and Grace had a little fun. She was a little hungover when we woke up and wanted some breakfast. Grip has always talked about the Brickhouse Cafe and it being amazing so we called him up and invited him along. This is our journey to Brickhouse!

Grip: “Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is Derek Gripenberg! People call me Grip! This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokémon! For some people, Pokémon are pets. Other use them for fights. Myself… I study Pokémon as a profession. First, what is your name? Right! So your name is Bret(t)! This is my grandson. He’s been your rival since you were a baby. …Erm, what is his name again? That’s right! I remember now! His name is Riley! Bret(t)! Your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokémon awaits! Let’s go!”

…Bret(t) wanders through the grass….

Grip:  Wait you f***ing idiot, there are wild pokemon in tall grass.

Bret(t): Shut your mouth you old perv.

Grip: Suit yourself you sac of s****.

…Bret(t), realizing his mistake, decides to go into Professor Grip’s laboratory…

Grip: Well, pick a Pokemon you stupid piece of s*** mother f***er. I don’t have all day.

Bret(t): I want the cat….

Grip:…

Bret(t):…

Grip:…

…Bret(t) takes the cat, Reggie, and goes on his journey to become the greatest Pokemon trainer that ever lived…

…Bret(t) catches many Pokeman (for real did your parents’ call them Pokeman? I mean come on mom, where do you see the “a” in “mon”…FOMF) along his journey to Joto (Johnston, IA). Bret(t) gets tired and hungry, so stops at his local Brickhouse Cafe for some nummsies and maybe get lucky…

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The Meal

Josh: They serve breakfast and lunch all day but I ain’t messing with that lunch crap. It was 10:30 in the morning and I wanted some damn eggs, bacon and pancakes. It’s time for breakfast.

Errr except I didn’t even go that route. They have this breakfast Mac and Cheese that Grip has mentioned in the past. Once I saw it on the menu, I had to try it. It’s freaking Mac and cheese, hash browns, eggs, onions, peppers, jalapeños, and bacon. All mixed together in a nicely sized bowl. This was the mother of all Mac and cheeses and I HAD to try it. It also came with a piece of toast. Hello, Carb City!

Oh Emm Gee. This Mac and cheese is good. Its flavors are mesmerizing and it’s the best breakfast Mac and cheese I have ever had (OK it’s the only breakfast Mac and cheese I’ve ever had. So what…It was delightful).

Besides the Mac and cheese…the toast was also good! They had homemade jam that was excellent on said toast. I had a taste of Grace’s pancakes and they were nice, light and fluffy. I may get some cakes the next time I go. I also saw a person seated next to us had a giant, smothered breakfast burrito that looked amazing. I need to come here again and again and try new things. I want to go right now!

 

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Grip: …As Bret(t) scopes out the small establishment he catches from the corner of his eye his arch nemesis, Riley, who is all over his ex-lover, Tabatha.

Bret(t): I ain’t f***ing with you. Got a million trillion things that I would rather do. Than to be f***ing with you. (Good luck getting that horrible song out of your head)

Riley: Two chops!!

…Riley throws out a Pokemon, Cy Bowa…

…Bret(t) throws out his best pokemon, Reggie…

Riley: Cy Bowa hit ‘em with bite!

…Cy Bowa ignores his owner, pisses on the carpet and runs away to go play with a homosexual man in a park…

Bret(t): HAHA, Riley. You will never be as good as me if you don’t treat your pokemon with love and respect…(what a joke).

…Riley retreats back to his table, eats a frozen burrito and cracks a beer (it’s 8 am). That Tabatha bought…

…Bret(t) scans the menu and lands on the Breakfast Mac n Cheese. Bret(t) is an up-and-coming doctor and knows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The gorgeous waitress, Misty, comes up to take his order with her long ginger hair. Bret(t) has a thing for gingers, always has, always will…

…Misty serves the meal and it hits Bret(t) like a thundershock. Bret(t) has an orgasm and Squirtles in his pants. Unsure if it was from the food or the ginger…

Bret(t): Wow this sure is good, Misty.

Misty: Thanks, Bret(t). Why don’t you come over later to Lickitung my HootHoot.

Bret(t): I can show you  my Great Balls while we are at it.

Misty:…

Bret(t):…

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Atmosphere, Service, Price

 

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Josh: Dear God this place is small. I mean…it’s the size of a prison cell basically. It seats like 24 total people including the workers. I don’t know how else to say how small this place is but it’s small. Did I mention it’s small? Besides the fact that it’s small (which it is), it’s a cute little place. We were lucky to even get a table and were seated right away. They have a decent size TV on the wall and they were playing Men in Black. I’m not sure why but it was playing. Our waitress was great and fun to talk to and the prices were rival to Perkins or Village Inn. My overall experience was extremely high and I think I found my new favorite breakfast spot.

Grip: …Bret(t) loved Joto, he loved the Brickhouse Cafe, he loved his Great Balls. Will Bret(t) ever see Misty again? Will Riley ever stop drinking? Having Tabatha pay for everything? Will Bret(t) ever become a doctor, or will he become the greatest pokemon trainer to ever live? Will Professor Grip ever get a smart phone? All these questions answered next time on Dragon Ball Z…

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